a grab bag of first sentences

The process by which readers judge a book often begins before they've laid hands on the book in question.  They hear friends and coworkers discussing it, they hear the author interviewed on NPR, they see posters advertising its forthcoming arrival....  Depending on your personal mileage, it's entirely possible to get sick of a book before it even hits the shelves.  Who among us hasn't experienced some level of burnout in response to over-hyped books?  I know that I have, especially in response to a certain series of romantic fantasy novels that shall go unnamed.

Even if a reader makes it to the release date without having already formed a solid opinion on the book, there's still the matter of the front cover.  Despite the old saying, modern society is overly fond of superficial trivialities such as outward appearance, and the design of a book cover can spur her to either purchase it right then and there or to avoid ever reading it altogether.  Relax, bookworm, if you judge books by their covers then take comfort in knowing you're not alone.  There's a very good reason I'm a sucker for Chronicle Books, and it isn't their affordability.

But what really cinches the deal for me is the first sentence -- not necessarily from the acknowledgments or prefaces or introductions, but from the very beginning of the meaty, juicy bit of the book.  That's a make-or-break thing for me.  A good opening sentence not only sets the tone for the rest of the book, it determines how I read it.  Do I devour it whole and go back for seconds?  Pace myself with chapter sized nibbles?  Indulge in a lengthy read with paper and pen at my side?  Here are my immediate reactions to a dozen first sentences, pulled from a wide range of genres.

1. "General Napoleon Bonaparte dismounted from his horse and stared up at the pyramid." -- The Paris Vendetta by Steve Berry
   This sentence, which opens a 412 page long thriller novel, sets the tone very well.  It's not quite the adrenaline-boosting sentence that readers will find in later chapters, but it contains not one, but two dynamic actions: the act of dismounting and the act of looking up.  The movement of the character suggests that the rest of the book will likewise be as action oriented.
   
2. "Granted: I'm an inmate in a mental institution; my keeper watches me, scarcely lets me out of sight, for there's a peephole in the door, and my keeper's eye is the shade of brown that can't see through blue-eyed types like me." -- The Tin Drum by Gunter Grass
   What an incredible and distinct character voice. The rambling sentence and odd imagery definitely give off the impression of mental instability.  I'm drawn in immediately.
   
3. "It was the sort of party where Miranda Wake knew every guest by face or reputation, but had never spoken to any of them." -- Can't Stand the Heat by Louisa Edwards
   I'm cringing in sympathy for Miranda upon reading this sentence.  Awkward social situations are just awful, and the description of the party conveys a sense of "fish out of water" without resorting to explicitly telling what the protagonist's feelings are.
   
4. "My name is Bruno Dante and what I'm writing about here is what happened." -- Chump Change: A Novel by Dan Fante
   Short, direct, abrupt: in the hands of a less capable writer these traits would be off-putting.  Fante makes them intriguing by writing from 1st Person point of view.  This sentence also provides insight into Bruno's personality: he's a straightforward, blunt man who doesn't like to play word games.
   
5. "Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming you do not go utterly mad in the attempt." -- John Dies at the End by David Wong
   Fourth wall?  What fourth wall?  This here is a wild and twisted satire that takes its cues from all of the excellent satirical fiction that came before it.  I'm immediately reminded of A Series of Unfortunate Events, which I loved to read when they first came out.  Even if John Dies at the End turns out to be much different than the Lemony Snicket novels, the favorable comparison compels me to read further.
   
6. "As described in Superman #1, Jor-El, a scientist on the distant planet Krypton, discovers that his world is about to explode and kill its entire population." -- The Physics of Superheroes: The Spectacular Second Edition by James Kakalios
   Oh, good.  I blame my comic book obsessed friends for their bad influence on me, but I love a nice geeky read that's chock full of obscure references to the Golden Age of comics.  The first sentence of the chapter opens with a reference not merely to Superman, but to a specific issue.  I'm in nerd girl heaven already.
   
7. "The Second Vatican Council (1961-1965) is often presented as a historic battle between 'progressive' bishops and their theological advisors who wanted to change Catholic teaching to more closely harmonize it with the social movements of the 1960s and 'conservatives' who remained wedded to the spirit of the Counter-Reformation era and who, at their most extreme, wanted no engagement at all between the Church and the world beyond her cloisters." -- Ratzinger's Faith: The Theology of Pope Benedict XVI by Tracey Rowland
   A sentence like this tells me three things.  Number one, I'll need a pen and paper (and possibly a dictionary) at my side while I'm reading.  Number two, it will take me at least three times longer than usual to read this book, because I'll be reading each sentence three or four times--to read it, to make sure I understand it, to admire the way it's constructed, and to refer back to it as I jot down a note to myself on my notepad.  And number three, I'm ecstatic to find a book that I can honestly call a challenging read, since books I find challenging are few and far between.
   
8. "Danny Roth took a final dab of moisturizer and massaged it into his already gleaming cranium, while checking to make sure that his scalp was innocent of any trace of stubble." -- The Vintage Caper by Peter Mayle
   This sentence made me laugh.  What a schmuck!  With just thirty-one words, Mayle fleshes out a vivid portrait of Danny Roth's personality -- shallow, narcissistic, past his prime physically and in firm denial about it.  I can't wait to see what's in store for him.
   
9. "It was midnight in Ankh-Morpork's Royal Art Museum.*" -- Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett
   I'm engaged right off the bat, because the first sentence starts with one of the best things about the Discworld novels: the footnotes.  Terry Pratchett's footnotes are an old and beloved friend to fans of the novels, and seeing that asterisk is a warm welcome back to the weird and wonderful city of Ankh-Morpork.
   
10. "In 1550, a seventy-five-year-old artist was paid six scudi to gild eight knobs on the pope's two beds." -- Michelangelo: The Artist, the Man, and His Times by William Wallace
    This sets the stage for the biography exceedingly well.It is all too easy to forget that this legendary figure was flesh and blood, and the inclusion of Michelangelo's age and the commonplace commission he undertook takes a man who is universally acknowledged as an artist of staggering genius and provides him with a more human aspect.  The year and the form of currency help paint a picture as well, cementing the book firmly in the Italian Renaissance.
    
11. "'Ohboyohboyohboyohboy!'" -- Jetpack Dreams by Mac Montandon
    I couldn't help smiling at that sentence.  The author's excitement is infectious and uplifting, and the giddy enthusiasm sucks me in instantly.
    
12. "Beer loves you." -- The Naked Pint: An Unadulterated Guide to Craft Beer by Christina Perozzi and Hallie Beaune
    Beer loves me?  Color me curious.  It's an odd statement, both matter of fact and tongue in cheek -- just how I like my humor.  This pronouncement makes me wonder what on earth the authors meant by it, and I'm sure if I keep reading they'll provide an interesting and equally entertaining explanation.